June 24: 3-7: Worms
by Melissa Allen
falling in love
robins grab worms
and pull
my hat sits askew
what this garden needs
is some worms
words coming out
in a whisper
worms underground
rain over
I step on a worm
and cry
I speak sternly:
robin — let go
of that worm
*
Yes, worms. It’s been raining a lot here, okay?
I like these, especially “rain over.”
Thanks, Bill. I had Issa in mind when I was writing these, I have been reading him a lot lately. I was trying to emulate that quirkiness and enthusiasm for trivialities and delight in the world that Issa has, but I don’t think anyone will ever be as delighted by the world as Issa.
some 5 year olds are quite delighted with the world. send a 5 year old out to get the mail and an hour later they may come back to show you a bug they found on a fence post and a story with amazing proportions and big eyes. or may be i’m just remembering a time when…
i like the way your phrases are becoming strong units in themselves. the less abstract, the more concrete – the clearer an image becomes.
okay. now i done it. i’ve rambled on and on so much about ku that i cant keep up with all i think i should do in writing one. bwahahahahaa.
the rain stops
outside my window
the crickets
Oh…yeah. I definitely should have specified “any adults” when I said that about Issa. Practically all kids have that enthusiasm, but it’s rare for adults to keep it. Issa seems really childlike in his delight, which is probably why I like him so much, as I am still having a hard time coming to grips with being an adult after a couple of decades of being one (and having a kid who is almost one).
Yeah, concrete is definitely better than abstract, except when it’s not.
Oh how contrary and difficult I am. You must be tearing out your hair over me. 
Love how that middle line of your ku can go with either other line … now that’s ambiguity.
bwahahahaha – yeah, i suspect i’m just being picky way too often.
heck, no, i like that you back up your points when i get too picky. concrete vs abstract except when it’s not. yeah. good point. again.
and yeah – i read your point on ambiguity. you’re right. perfect.
[...] Ku-me: a haiku game 25 06 2010 Okay, Rick Daddario (my champion commenter) has a great haiku game going on over at 19 Planets Art Blog. It’s called ku-me and it’s kind of a hybrid between a linking verse and a haiku prompt. Rick starts the ball rolling with a one-word prompt, then the first commenter writes a haiku using the prompt and leaves a new prompt of their own that the next commenter has to use in their haiku. Et cetera. I just left the word “squirm.” Come on, tell me you can’t do something with that after reading all my charming worm haiku. [...]