May 1: 3-4 (Two Spring Haiku)

lilac blooming
three weeks early this spring
slow down


after spring rain
a sky
like scoured bone china




Revisions 10/29/10:


the lilac blooms
three weeks early —
thinking about leaving

spring rain
drinking from a sky
like bone china

5 thoughts on “May 1: 3-4 (Two Spring Haiku)

  1. Pingback: Revision, rewriting, editing … stop me when you’ve heard enough « Red Dragonfly

  2. My mind goes back to bone china and things my mother had from her mother. Need to refresh my memory.

    It’s always a welcome event when we hear the rain again after a long Wisconsin winter.

    So I think you have something original “in progress” with this haiku too!

    • Thanks, Ellen.
      I love bone china, and the words “bone china.” It’s just one of those phrases that I think should be used more often. 🙂 Although it might be a little metaphor-y for haiku. Not sure I care, though. 🙂

  3. I see now that I posted on a different page than your current revisions Post!

    Your first “lilac blooming” feels finished to me. Very nice.

    These are just responses as a reader…thanks.

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