2 thoughts on “August 30 (Brown water)

  1. Great! And very atmospheric.

    Maybe drop the “ing” to make it even more immediate?

    brown water
    a child bends
    to fish for bottles

    or

    brown water
    a child bends to fish
    for bottles

    or

    brown water a child bends to fish for bottles

    Just a thought! 😉

    Alan, With Words

    • Fantastic suggestions all, Alan. I so appreciate your expert input and am flattered you are taking the time to consider my ku so seriously!
      When I posted this ku on my Facebook page I took your first revision suggestion, but I think all three suggestions make the ku stronger.

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