December 28 (Evergreen)

evergreen
he never
believed
he’d run out
of time

___________________

yeah, I know, five lines. so I guess that makes this a tanka, or a gogyoghka, or something. or else a really incompetent haiku.

I really need to research tanka and gogyoghka. I have been trying not to pay attention to them because haiku are time-consuming enough, and also usually when I read tanka I have this feeling like, “This would be a really great haiku if you cut out two lines.” But so many people seem to swear by them, so maybe I should get with the program.


6 thoughts on “December 28 (Evergreen)

  1. Hi! I just discovered your blog. I followed a link from Gillena’s Lunch Break blog. I enjoyed the haiku you submitted and like the other little poems I see on your site. I’ll be back! Always good to find a new haiku blog to check in on from time to time.

    Swing by mine: http://www.HaikuByTwo.com.

  2. I would probably call this a tanka, yes. But a nice tanka; I think I mentioned it in an email a while back, but I like the more condensed tanka.

    I don’t know so much about gogyoghka (though was reading about it the other day), but I tend to lean more toward tanka for this because of the structure. A gogyoghka is a bit more free form, but this clearly has two parts–the nature and the emotional. It reveals a bit of emotion, but not everything.

    1. Thanks, Aubrie. Yeah, I find I tend to like tanka that are, you know, no more than seventeen syllables. 😉 I could probably have written this as a haiku but it seems to work better in five lines, maybe because of the theme.

      1. Agreed. The content and theme lend themselves more toward tanka. Of course, this leads me to the point that should always let the poem tell you what form it should take. Admittedly, this is a case where haiku may have not done the moment justice.

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