spring
tag
back
and forth
in half
a forest
a culvert
running
through
it
and a
surprise
deer
at the edge
lifting
her
head
staring at
the children
she doesn’t have
yet
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spring
tag
back
and forth
in half
a forest
a culvert
running
through
it
and a
surprise
deer
at the edge
lifting
her
head
staring at
the children
she doesn’t have
yet
Melissa, I truely like the poem and spent a rainy Saturday afternoon thinking about it. Maybe I should write thinking about “it.”
This is a delightful poem that I think is grounded in remembrance. The writer remembers the children playing tag in half a forest, the appearance of a deer watching the children, and then the extra step to the deer (and probably the other person) wondering about their children not yet born.
One could interpret the image of the deer ending with “at the edge”. The deer is at the edge of the forest – period. The “lifting her head” refers to the “other person” who saw the playing children and stares at the children she doesn’t have yet. Or it could be the deer lifting its head. In which case, we have a strong flow of images from humans to nature. Or it could be an artful bit of ambiguity that the writer intended all along.
The word “it” has a prominence in the poem. The title of the poem is “it”. And “it” occupies the central position in the poem with lots of white space, more than enough to trump italics and bold. Looking at the grammar I have to believe “it” refers back to half a forest. The culvert runs through half a forest. But now I am at a loss to see why the emphasis on half a forest. I suppose the phase “it and a surprise deer” could go together; but this does not shed light on the poem for me.
There is enough purposeful ambiguity here to create a charming poem. The writer chose to write a poem and not an essay or a decision chart and has no need to explain.
This was indeed a busy afternoon. For my birds of prey haiku
old hawk with unredeemed eyes
a winter hunger
Sully
Sully…once again a lovely, thoughtful commentary…I am so lucky to have such a close and intelligent reader. You’ve given me many new things to think about my own poetry, as usual. (Oh…one other thing you might want to think about…not sure if you caught this but “it” is, of course, the central player in a game of tag…among many other possible meanings for that word here. 🙂 )
I’m finding “birds of prey” to be a rich vein of material for everyone today…such a hungry time of year this is. 🙂
Color me dense. I missed the central player of tag.
Sully