June 4: 2 (Skipping Stones)

Skipping stones

lake big as an ocean
those stones you throw
will never return

Edited 6/5/10:

This one doesn’t seem quite right to me. How about:

ripples on the lake
those stones you throw
will never return


or

arriving waves
those stones you throw
will never return

Votes and comments welcome below.

May 11: 2-7: Indecision

rain all night
dreams full of
punctuation

I wrote ten haiku this morning that all started with the line “rain all night.” (It rained all night.) I didn’t like most of them very much. The one above was the one I liked the most. Here are a few of the others — if you like one of them better (or at all), feel free to let me know. And why.

rain all night
sun in the morning —
disappointment

rain all night
muffles early birdsong
silence in my dreams

rain all night
dreams fill up
with oceans

rain all night
is this what
drowning feels like

rain all night
throat so dry
I can’t swallow